Home' LOTL : JulAug14 Contents 13
lotl.com • Lesbians On The Loose Magazine
Do you have a burning
question for Lipstick
& Dipstick? Write to
there, all alone, until others also find their
way to the sunlight. Then, before you
know it, suddenly there’s a large patch of
flowers, and they’re beautiful and strong
because they’ve worked hard to survive.
Eventually, just as we’re witnessing in our
world right now, the concrete will decom-
pose and disappear, and the rest of the
greenery will fill in the gaps. Soon, then,
it will be nothing but one big, glorious,
Why do some lesbians have to be butch?
Dip, I’ll punt this juicy morsel to you.
Dipstick: BBB, let me put it this way. Why
do you have to be bisexual? Why do you
have to like both men and women? Why
can’t you choose just one—because obvi-
ously that would make everyone around
you more comfortable. Is it something
you just woke up one day and decided to
do? When you know the answer to that
question, you’ll have the answer to why
some of us are a bit more boy-like, or
queenish. Like you, we were born this way.
And, thankfully, we have a gay culture that
embraces us for being our true selves. If I
want to wear a trucker hat and Carhartts,
I know that my gay people are going to
love and support me for that. Likewise, I
embrace my queenly brothers, those who
choose to roller-skate through life in skin-
tight short shorts and big rainbow boas,
flowing fabulousness wherever they roam.
Lipstick: Word, Dip. Why do we celebrate
Gay Pride? We’re proud because we’ve
once been ashamed, and deeply so.
Many of our brothers and sisters are still
reconciling that indignity, but those of us
who have are damn proud of it. It’s not an
easy skin to shed, and our heterosexual
(and maybe even bisexual) counterparts
will never understand its weight. They’ve
never been sliced by the horror of being
turned away at the ER when their girlfriend
has been in an accident. They’ve never
been unwelcome in their parents’ home,
or humiliated in school hallways. And
they’ve never been a pawn in the circus
that is media and politics. We’re proud
and we celebrate because we can’t help
ourselves. The sea change has come and
the joy runneth over.
Dipstick: Take a look deep inside, BBB.
While you plead for gays and lesbians to
embrace bisexuals, you display such utter
bias yourself. Instead of worrying about
how others choose to define themselves,
look at your own internalised butch-
phobia. My guess is, your abhorrence of
all things manly in a woman is due to your
discomfort with that aspect of yourself,
which is itching to jump out. Not judging,
just my opinion.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I have this
amazing girlfriend, and we have been
together for more than three years now. A few
months ago, I started taking care of my nails
and now they are lovely, but pretty sharp and
long. The problem is, I love them like this but I
hurt my girl every time we’re having sex. She
has pretty sensitive skin down there. What can
I do to keep my nails pretty, but also have safe
and fun sex with my girlfriend without hurting
Lipstick: Lesbian 101’s first rule is “Keep
Your Nails Short,” so give your girlfriend’s
cooch a break and file those things down.
No one wants to get fresh with Freddy
Dipstick: Lipstick, I’m surprised that you
of all people would tell a feisty femme
to cut her PowerPoints. That’s like asking
Wonder Woman to take off those golden
bracelets or Melissa Etheridge to put
down her guitar. There’s no need to cut
back those lovely nails you’ve cultivated.
Just slap on a pair of latex gloves. Double
up, if you have to. They will protect your
pretty nails and her pretty hootenanny.
Use plenty of lube and see how many
fingers you can fit inside.
Lipstick: Those switchblades will rip
through latex faster than my nanna’s
toenails pierce her pantyhose. What needs
to happen, Sally, is for you to get out your
emery board and dull down those daggers.
Go about halfway and see if that’s enough.
Be sure you keep the edges wide and
round, not pointy and narrow. Lesbians and
long nails only go together in porn videos.
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