Home' LOTL : May 14 Contents Lipstick: Is it true, Nightindyke? Have
you neglected her? Are you so tired at
the end of the day that you just want to
come home and stare at the television,
with a wine IV? You’ve got to give her
credit for being honest and coming to
you. Answer me this: Do you even want
to stick around? Are you really commit-
ted to this marriage? I’m not getting
the vibe that you care a heck of a lot. If
you do want to save your relationship,
and if she’s truly willing to work on
reconnecting, you should give it a try.
Falling back in love is possible, if you
had a strong foundation in the begin-
ning. Consider pulling back on school a
bit. Maybe go part-time for a semester
so you can focus on resuscitating your
relationship, just like you’ve been sav-
ing those dying patients.
Dipstick: Pull your head out of your
Nursing Ethics textbook and look
around, Florence. Your wife is right.
When someone says she’s no longer
in love with you, she’s saying the spark
is gone. You know it’s missing. You’ve
been sponge bathing elderly gentle-
men instead of rubbing her shoulders.
She’s been out on the town twerking
with her girls instead of doing horizon-
tal hip-hop with you. Going after your
dreams is good, but there needs to be
a balance. Did you not vow to honour
and cherish Rory when you wed? You
can’t heal wounded strangers while
your own relationship needs nursing.
But don’t let Rory make you take all the
blame. She’s got to own up to the part
she’s played in this case of benevolent
neglect. And no, you’re not going to
wait around for her to fall back in love
with you—you’re going to be an active
participant. Woo her back and remind
her why it was that she fell for you
three short years ago.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I’m 16 and
I just told my mum that I’m a lesbian.
She’s cool with it, but the only thing
she asks is that I don’t tell anyone else.
I really want to tell people though. I
feel comfortable with who I am, and
I want to let other chicks know that
I think they’re hot. It’s obvious that
I’m a lesbian. I have short hair and
everything. I live in a glass closet.
Should I not officially come out just
because of my mum?—Living in a
Dipstick: First of all, let me congratu-
late you for coming out to your mum.
No matter how much progress we
make, no matter how many states
legalise same-sex marriage, no matter
how many times Macklemore sings
“Same Love,” coming out to the people
closest to us is always a brave act.
Kudos to you, kid. From your mum’s re-
quest, I can see a bit about the kind of
family you come from—the kind where
secrets are common. Twenty years
from now, you’ll probably discover that
your real dad is a fiddler whose blue-
grass band was passing through town,
and that your grandmother spent time
in jail for bootleggin’. Your mum might
be OK with secrets, but you don’t have
to be. You’ve been honest with her,
so why would you lie to anyone else?
Asking you not to talk about it isn’t
cool. So go ahead, tell that cute soccer
player with the baggy shorts and back-
wards baseball cap that you think the
two of you would make a great team.
Lipstick: I agree with Dip. Congrats!
There’s no turning back now,
Teenybopper, so get those feet planted
firmly on the ground. Your mum simply
needs to deal with it. Unlike you, she is
still working through some shame as
it relates to your beautiful revelation.
That is her darkness, not yours. You’re
16 now, and you should be able to hold
on to the steering wheel and also hold
on to that cute soccer player while
you’re shopping at the mall. Gently
push back, and let Mum know you
aren’t willing to go back into the cage.
Explain how hard it is for you to lie—tell
her about the damage it’s done, emo-
tionally and mentally. Perhaps seeing
your angst will help Mum get past her
own fear and put your well-being first.
Do you have a burning
question for Lipstick
& Dipstick? Write to
lotl.com • Lesbians On The Loose Magazine
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