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THE WATERING HOLE
Q Dear Miss Candy Lips, How do I buy a girl a drink without her
thinking I will be buying her drinks all evening ... and then for the rest
of the relationship? -- Slim Wallet.
A This could potentially be a tough one as it really depends on the dynamics and each
person's situation and the sensitivity that may surround that. But let's take two sassy
women who are have their own income and after getting the low down from friends
who are quite accustomed to this level of behaviour and expectation ... here are some
of the verdicts.
Naturally, if you are brought a drink then you return the kind gesture. But what if
the girl of your dreams doesn't? How do we go about the gentle hint without feeling
like a penny-pincher? First suggestion is to offer to buy the first drink and if they don't
offer to buy the next one, then simply buy one for yourself in front of them and that
should fix it instantly.
But what if they still don't get that hint? As one friend said, "If they are going to
the bar, tell them you want a drink. Or if you want to snag them for a date, you can
simply say that you would like a drink but another time with a cheeky grin.
Dear Slim Wallet, in a world somewhat loosely based on equality, what girl on
earth expects to be brought drinks all night? I'm sure even in heterosexual situations
those social 'rules' were disbanded a long time ago -- especially now with the risks
associated with accepting drinks from new acquaintances.
Shouldn't we relax a bit and not expend our energy on something that may seem
inconsequential? Burn that energy on the dance floor!
To put it simply: it's about reciprocation and manners, which is hand in hand with
respect. This behaviour should be a given in any relationship. If you want to put a
hammer on any behaviour that you don't like as a relationship is progressing, speak up
and establish boundaries. The clearer the communication, especially early in a
relationship, the less stress (and tears!) down the track.
If I don't see you at the Candy Lips party on
August 28 for a complimentary cocktail (sounds
like you could use one) until 11pm, see
you online at www.candylips.com.au
Email your questions on lesbian etiquette to
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