Home' LOTL : July 2004 Contents CANDY BAR
PICK UP LINES
Q Dear Miss Candy Lips, Should I use pick up lines when I am
trying to cruise that babe? -- Desperate to impress.
A Pick up lines -- what are they are and do they work? We should refresh them as
"opening lines" to give them some kind of credence. But do we really need to use them
and what's the etiquette of opening lines? Firstly and foremost, your opening line should
be spoken with fresh breath! It's horrible when that babe you have been ogling across
the room walks over and has the aroma of those brussels sprouts that you were forced
to eat as a kid. Never want those memories back. There's a lesson in this for all of us.
Let's imagine the scene, albeit, a very familiar one to many of us. You're in a bar and
the following is said to you:
"Are you a parking ticket, as you're got FINE written all over you"
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again"
"Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart"
What would you do if a girl said any of these gems to you? I know I'd fall off my chair
laughing. Or looking around to see who dared use these openers.
The best line I've heard recently is: "Would you like a milkshake?" It's that corny you
can't help but be impressed that someone would actually use it and that it was said
Why, in a gay subculture, do we feel the need to make the perfect first impression with
corny lines? How ironic. Wouldn't you be impressed more by a girl who acted in a
way which was memorable? I'm not talking about those girls who are dribbling
because it took them 27 beers to pluck up the courage to strut their stuff. But by those
who have a certain way of approaching you. It's how they do it, not what they say.
The secret is in the C word -- confidence, sistas!
So, to cut a long answer short, the very simple "Hi, how are you" with strong eye
contact whilst shaking a hand oozes strength and confidence. It works a treat every
time. Are you ready to try that? Let's get set and go, girl!
See you at Candy Lips, Saturday 26 June. Come on, I know you want to. And if you
miss that, visit www.candylips.com.au for more events.
Remember, if it isn't working, it isn't flirting.
Email your questions on lesbian etiquette to
Q I am shopping for my first dildo. Any tips? -- Gun shy.
A Gone are the days where it took courage to announce that as a lesbian, you
enjoyed harness and dildo play. If you enjoy penetrative sex, dildo and harness play
allow kissing and physical intimacy, making it a deeply
Dildos and harnesses come in all shapes, sizes and
materials. Invest in quality toys to save having to buy
more because they broke, didn't fit or made you or
your girl feel unsexy. For dildos, high-grade silicone is
best, safest to use and will last. D.VICE dildos have a
ten-year guarantee and come in a range of sizes,
shapes and colours. Harnesses are available in leather,
vinyl and webbing.
A good harness will be adjustable, able to fit both partners (if you both wish to receive).
It needs to be fitted so that with the dildo in place, there is no movement. Comfort is
essential; if the leg straps pinch the labia, try wearing underwear underneath.
I recommend a separate dildo and harness so that you can hand hold the dildo, use it
in a front or thigh harness, or combine two in a Tryst to make a double-ended dildo.
My preference is for a Jockey style harness, where there are two leg straps for stability.
It also leaves the wearer open and accessible. A dildo ring in the harness and a good-
sized base to the dildo will help keep the dildo in place.
Practice on your own first to get the harness on and off smoothly. Have everything
handy to the location and get her to help you put the harness on if you are in a hurry.
The more sexually aroused you are, the more you are able to take. Make sure you or
your partner is juiced up, and alternate cunnilingus with penetration. Always use plenty
of water based lubricant.
Try different positions. Entering from behind gives deeper penetration, girl on top gives
her greater control, missionary gives you thrusting power.
The Garter thigh harness is an excellent choice if you both want to be penetrated at the
same time. You will need a set each. If you have multiple partners or are using a dildo
for both vaginal and anal use a condom. Clean your harness and dildo after use ...
dirty sex gear is unsexy and unsafe. Have fun!
This column is brought to you by D.VICE, the lesbian owned and
operated Designer Sex Gear store at 2--4 Bridge Rd Richmond,
Melbourne. Visit www.dvice.com.au or email email@example.com
for a free catalogue.
FIRSTLY AND FOREMOST, YOUR OPENING LINE SHOULD
BE SPOKEN WITH FRESH BREATH! IT'S HORRIBLE WHEN
THAT BABE YOU HAVE BEEN OGLING ACROSS THE
ROOM WALKS OVER AND HAS THE AROMA OF THOSE
BRUSSELS SPROUTS THAT YOU WERE FORCED TO EAT
AS A KID. NEVER WANT THOSE MEMORIES BACK.
THERE'S A LESSON IN THIS FOR ALL OF US.
CLEAN YOUR HARNESS AND DILDO AFTER USE ...
DIRTY SEX GEAR IS UNSEXY AND UNSAFE.
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