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Dear Ladywood and Domestic Duchess,
I am in a wonderful relationship with the
woman of my dreams. We've been together for
a decade and I want to spoil her with a holiday
to mark our tenth anniversary next year. My
girlfriend tells me she'd love to go on a cruise
but I've seen other people's holiday photos
and I can't bear the thought of being stuck
on a oating nursing home or surrounded by
screaming kids. Any suggestions? Tracy
DD: I have three words for you, Tracy: the
Big "O". Yes, of course that Big "O", but also "O"
for Olivia. Olivia Cruises. e best holiday you
could have and not the oating aged care facility
or kid's summer camp you may have imagined.
LW: Yes, DD is not exaggerating. We've been
on two Olivia Cruises and have just booked to
go on our third. Imagine, two thousand lesbians
oating on a luxury, top-of-the-line cruise ship
for one week pulling in to exotic ports. A bit like
Wonder Woman's Paradise
DD: I can't rave enough
about how incredible it is to
be surrounded by lesbians of
all ages (not under 18s), from
all over the world. You make
fantastic friends, get to dress up, hang out with
great women, do heaps of fun things or lounge
around and as they say, 'feel free.'
LW: A great way to celebrate ten years. It's
truly a blast, with the Olivia Idol competition,
'celesbian' entertainers, pools, sundecks, casino,
nightclubs, restaurants. It's a oating Sapphic
DD: You only unpack your luggage once in
beautiful cabins and they are tidied for you each
day. For the foodie-dykes, the food is gourmet
with ve star restaurants, twenty-four hour buf-
fets and all inclusive room service. Not exactly
the 'diet' ship.
LW: Work it o in the on-board gym, DD.
Just make sure your girl doesn't join
the Olivia solos group -- you won't see her again!
DD: We sound like an advertisement for the
big "O" here, LW.
LW: You're right, so let's add a ditty -- It's not
a naval vessel lled with seamen, but a cruise ship
full of ovaries!
Looking for some advice? Ladywood and the
Domestic Duchess have you covered...
Ask Ladywood and The Duchess
your lesbian life-related questions at
This advice column is NOT meant to replace seeking
professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the
responses given will be helpful, but this column exists
to entertain our readers and this advice column is NOT
professional counselling. In all instances, seek the
advice of a professional.
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