Home' LOTL : July 2007 Contents 31
I said “no” to a birthday party, but
my new girlfriend is insisting. Whose
special day is it anyway? Birthday Girl
ADear Birthday Girl
Your girlfriend does not believe you
really don’t want one because she
cannot conceive of that being possible.
She probably sees it as her responsibility to
provide you with fun on the day, and may feel
inadequate without a traditional celebration.
Talk about how each of you celebrated
birthdays as kids and what it is like to be the
centre of attention. Give her clear directions
about what you would prefer.
I have always masturbated a lot, but
now I feel compelled to do so a couple
of times a day in the toilet at work, and am often
late for appointments because of it. What’s wrong
with me? KW
You may be using masturbation to relieve
anxiety. There is nothing wrong with
this in moderation, but it sounds like you have
become addicted and it is interfering with the rest
of your life. You are probably feeling ashamed
and alone with the problem. It is more common
than you think. Ask yourself when you started
masturbating for comfort, and what was stressful
at the time. Think about how masturbation
protects you from feeling vulnerable, particularly
in intimate relationships.
Addiction to masturbation and other sexual
behaviours often replaces or limits the
development of healthy relationships with people.
It is hard to stop a compulsion on your own.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or therapy
My son has been diagnosed with
Attention Deficit Disorder. Our GP says
only medication will help. My herbalist says
my boy needs a male role model, and I should
avoid the drugs and just put more men in his life.
A diagnosis can provide the relief of a
name for a problem that has baffled us.
But how scary it can be too. We want experts to
tell us what to do, but we can feel disempowered
and overwhelmed, when they insist there is only
one way to proceed.
Medication for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
is controversial. Experts argue about whether
the condition is predominantly caused by
physiological, environmental or psychological
Get your boy thoroughly assessed by a specialist
child psychologist or psychiatrist. Insist on getting
information on the full range of interventions open
to you, as well as the side effects of any drugs
proposed. Think carefully about what is right for
your child and you. Carefully monitor his response
to any treatment.
Email your Advice question to email@example.com
The opinions expressed in this column are the
personal views of the writer. They are not intended
a be a substitute for professional advice. If you
need medical or psychological help please see
your local GP or psychologist.
by Dawn Cohen
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