Home' LOTL : November 2005 Contents 45
By Dawn Cohen
QMy boss is constantly on my back for tiny little mistakes. I would
chuck in the job, except they all seem the same. Managers are
nice for the first few months, and then they come down hard on
you. Maybe I should start my own business. – Top Cat
AWhenever the same thing keeps happening again and again, look
out for a common denominator – a factor that is identical in all the
There are two possibilities here: the nature of your job, or you. I could
be wrong, but possibly your managers start out nice and then become
critical because you begin a job with hard-working intentions and then
It is often easier to assume the problem is in the other person. Take a
careful look at yourself. Do you give up on the fine detail as you relax
into a new position? If so, change your own attitude and your bosses’
attitudes may also change. If the problem is you and you become self-
employed you probably won’t be happy with your new boss….you.
If you can’t identify any imperfections in your own work style, perhaps
you need to change careers.
QI want a budgie. My friends say it’s uncool, and it won’t make
me happy because I will feel guilty about the cage and clipped
wings. I grew up with birds. I think the nice home and the decent
feeds I give it could balance out the inconveniences. – Tweety
AYou can’t know what does or does not balance out for another
creature. On the other hand, your friends don’t know what
balances out for you. Your friends are assuming they know how
you will feel, just like you are assuming you know what is right for the
bird. It is as if you can’t bear it that your need for the budgie may not
coincide with a similar need in it for you.
Tell your friends to leave you alone to work out what you believe is right.
My sense is you want the pet, no matter what. If you are going to get
it but aren’t sure if it’s moral, be honest about that, and live with the
QI am really exhausted all the time and the doctor says nothing
is wrong, and it’s just psychological. But I was quite content
up to now. I have had every test under the sun, and nothing is
emerging. Am I going nuts? – Femme Fatigued
AHow frustrating for you. You are wanting to work out the problem,
and being told there isn’t one is not helpful. The mind and the
body don’t operate independently. Psychological experiences
automatically impact on the body and vice versa. There may be
something physically amiss that is too subtle to register on the tests.
There may also be psychological concerns below your radar. The two
factors could both be operating, rather than it being a choice between
one or the other.
You may find a visit to a naturopath who works with both the emotional
and the physical helpful.
The opinions expressed in this column are the personal views of the writer.
They are not intended to be a substitute for professional advice. If you need
medical or psychological help please see your local GP or psychologist.
Individual and Relationship Psychotherapist
BA:BSW: Post Grad Dip in Adolescent and Child Psychology
Relationships • Depression Menopause Anxiety Grief
Childhood issues • Insomnia
Billyard Avenue Elizabeth Bay Ph: 02 9362 5639
HELPING YOU TO CHANGE
One to One Counselling and Education
Depression, Anxiety, Addictions, Relationship Issues,
Adult survivors of sexual abuse
125 Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, NSW 2022
Tel: (02) 9386 5356
Health fund rebates available
RN, BA MApp Psych, MAPS, MCN
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