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people see you, and, in turn, her. While most parents go through
their own “coming out” after a child steps from the closet, it’s our
job to challenge this phobic angst with honest conversation and
living in our truth. Be respectful and come from a place of love.
It’ll likely shock the hell out of her. Maybe she’ll even change her
mind. Remember, you’re only a teenager once, and you’ll get a lot
further with sugar than salt.
Dipstick: Even though I do think your mum is being a pinhead,
I hate to admit it—because it’s going to make me sound old and
conservative—but I’m actually with Mum on the piercing. For
different reasons, of course. It’s not that I don’t think you should
express yourself, it’s just that I don’t like nose piercings. The way
they sit in your nose makes it look like a booger is about to drop
off. Ick. Besides, nose rings are on their way out, so there’s no
sense in getting one now. Wait until you’re 18 to see if they’re still
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: We live in India and are facing all sorts of
troubles. With the kind of atmosphere we have in our families and in
our surroundings, we can never be together. This is causing a stress in
us. Don’t know what to do. Feel like ending this life. —Majorly Stressed
Dipstick: All I can say is, this puts the question about nose pierc-
ing in perspective, eh, Lipstick?
Lipstick: Ouch. No kidding. These kinds of questions are a punch
to the gut. Majorly Stressed, DO NOT END THIS LIFE. There is so
much beauty and love outside your current constraints. What
you and your girl need to do is figure out a way to leave India.
Get in touch with the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights
Commission (iglhrc.org) and talk to someone there about steps
you can take to make a move. The present climate there makes it
nearly impossible for you to be happy, healthy, and safe.
Dipstick: Remember when we were on tour and we met that
lesbian from India who was in an arranged marriage? She spent
most of her life pretending to be straight, and she snuck out on
her husband to come to our reading. Our columns and a few
lesbian websites that she surreptitiously perused at work were
her only connections to the LGBT world. She sure was brave. But
no matter how hard it is, even in places like India, you can find
like-minded people who will love and accept you for who you
are. I know that there have been some recent setbacks for gay
rights in India, but there are also gays and allies who are fighting
for your right to love right there in Mumbai. It may be daunting at
times, but it’s the fight that every community with gay rights has
to go through. Call an LGBT helpline like Qashti (971-128-2081;
971-128-2307) and talk to someone who knows what
you’re going through. It’s not easy. We know that.
But please don’t give up. The world needs you.
Lipstick: If you ever
think about doing
get in touch with us
Do you have a burning
question for Lipstick
& Dipstick? Write to
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